Denim aftershave: please make an effort.

THE RETROHEN blog portfolio contains popular retro aftershaves like Brut, Old Spice and Hai Karate. Another aftershave from the past that we should not forget is Denim. The advertising for Brut was sport themed, for Old Spice it was manly, but when is came to Denim it was manly and seductive. The strapline for Denim: for the man who doesn’t want to try … too hard.

The strapline is of particular interest: is it saying that once you’ve splashed on Denim all you have to do is kick-back and women will slide their hands seductively over your chest? Maybe, just maybe, it’s not that simple. Maybe some effort is needed for Denim to standup to what strapline suggests.

Here are a few pointers where Denim may struggle to deliver:

Poor personal hygiene. Not had a bath or shower for a few weeks and smelling like a you’ve been stranded in sewer? Sadly even dousing yourself with Demin won’t help. The ladies will be walking past with clothes-pegs on their noses to avoid the stench.

Poor dress-sense. Wearing a string vest with your tummy hanging out, the sandals and socks combination with the socks up to the knees, or a tank-top with shreds of knitting hanging-off, is a big fail. Denim will make you smell nice but poor dress-sense will overrule the aftershave. Remember: fix-up look sharp.

Vile vocabulary. You’re clean, well-dressed and smelling of Denim. The lady gets a whiff of the aftershave, sees that your sharply-dressed and approaches you to begin a conversation. Sadly the conversation lasts less than a minute: during the 51 second conversation you’ve managed to unleash the words fucking, bitch, shitty and finish off with the horrid C word. She’s gone and she’s never coming back.

To conclude: Denim aftershave is good but you need to work with it; some kind of effort needs to be made so fix-up, have a shower and get rid of any vile language by washing your mouth out with soap.


The Milk Tray Man, mouthfuls of Angel Delight, smashing Smash Hits magazine, splashing it all over with Brut aftershave, World of Sport or Grandstand? A fat wallet or your flexible friend the Access Card? Could you survive a term at Grange Hill? Nostalgia with enough clout to send you flying back to the 80s and 70s in the hardback book Section N Underpass. Click image below to get the rundown:

2 thoughts on “Denim aftershave: please make an effort.”

    1. Haha it sure is real! The aftershave was very popular in the 70s and 80s. In fact I still wear Denim aftershave lol. Thanks 🙂

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