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A brief story of Izal toilet tissue and the cubicle of pain

 

 

Holding on!

I WOULD dread it! The thought of heading into the grey chilly cubicle would make me tremble. I’d hold my breath and clench my buttocks hoping to hold out until home-time. It’s 2pm  – only an hour and a half to go but I’m bursting! Can I make it? No … yes … maybe …

Keep clenching, take slow deep breaths, don’t think about it – instead think about making it home and finding relief in the smallest room in the house.

 

Gotta go!

It’s no good, I give into the sensation and my hand shoots up requesting permission to head to the Cubicle of Pain.

I enter the cubicle of pain like a boy heading into the headmasters office for six of the best. I enter and my enemy is there innocently hanging from the dispenser roll. I hesitantly lock the door behind me and drop my trousers before carefully placing my bum on the chilly black toilet seat.

Torture time!

Business completed and poo flushed away. I shiver as I know this is when the innocent looking enemy bursts into life and inflicts punishment that will torment me for hours. I reel-off a strip and my hand shakes like I’m receiving an electric shock. I wipe and cringe as the feeling of sandpaper runs on my bum. One strip is not enough and I reel off another strip … coarse grade sandpaper inflicting more pain on my innocent bum!

 

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I exit the cubicle of pain walking like I’ve been shot in the bum. I get back to my desk and sit down gingerly. I can hear my torturer on the roll giggling away in the distance.

Where was the Andrex dog to save my bum?

Beyond Evil!

Dr Izal you are wicked! You showed no remorse – the pain from your torture session lasted for hours! You should be banned from all school toilets and your toilet surgery shut down! Dr Izal – I’m glad I’ll never ever step foot in your cubicle of pain again!

 

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Want some more school memories? Take a trip back to Grange Hill here: Re-opening of Grange Hill?


Enjoyed the blog? A nostalgic collection of blogs featuring a fun and factual look back at British advertising, leisure and entertainment from the yester-years are featured in the new hardback book, Section N Underpass. Release date November 2018.

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