BRUT! He’s not subtle but abrupt. He’s direct. He’s the rude individual who’s just slapped you across the face and walked off with a swagger. You may try to ignore him – hoping he’ll would disappear down the bathroom sink but this homme de France has staying power. He has his chest puffed out with the look of ‘I’m here to stay so get over it!’
Love him or hate him, men have been splashing him all over for decades. Henry Cooper and Barry Sheene are some of the sports personalities who have championed Brut. Del Boy even wished he had an emergency Brut capsule to splash on when he spotted his ex in the local.
Curiosity killed the cat
I’m a bit of a curious chap. I know curiosity ended the life of our four legged house pet but I’m still here to tell the tale. I noticed him on the top shelf in the supermarket. I looked at him with interest but he didn’t even acknowledge my look of curiosity. In fact he didn’t even look at me at all! He sat at the summit in his green outer garment admiring himself, knowing he’d be stinging someone’s cheeks sooner rather than later.
I didn’t hesitate … why should I? He has a reputation and I needed to satisfy my curiosity!
After shaving (with a new blade), the time had come. I braced myself before slapping him onto my closely shaven face. There was a gentle sting. I was expecting a sting intensity of 10 (on the 1 to 10 scale) – like being stung by a bunch of angry bees. Instead the sting intensity level was more like a 3! I glanced up at him and gave him a look of ‘you’re not as tough as you look’ and slapped more onto my cheeks.
I remember in the 70s when my brother slapped on the Brut we all knew about it – the abrupt green eyed homme de France flooded every corner of our rather large house with its aroma. Not quite the same now though: his lingering aroma was restricted to my face and bathroom.
I finished-off the abrupt one within a month. All what’s left is his empty glass shell that’s heading to the recycle bin. My curiosity had been satisfied. Maybe back in 70s he was more feisty and would have taught me a severe lesson; they do say we mellow as we progress in years.
Well my abrupt, arrogant friend is actually quite nice once you get to know him. His twin brother nodded at me from the top shelf of the supermarket during the week. I smiled and nodded back – mutual respect. Respect the Brut!
Enjoyed the post? Brut aftershave is featured in the new hardback book, Section N Underpass. Get the rundown by clicking the front cover below: