Splash it all over!

BRUT! He’s not subtle but abrupt. He’s direct. He’s the rude individual who’s just slapped you across the face and walked off with a swagger. You may try to ignore him … hoping he would disappear down the bathroom sink but this homme de France has staying power … He has his chest puffed out with the look of ‘I’m here to stay … get over it!’

Love him or hate him, men have been splashing him all over for decades. Henry Cooper, Barry Sheene and Kevin Keegan are some of the sports personalities who have championed Brut. Del Boy even wished he had an emergency Brut capsule to splash on when he spotted his ex in the local.

I’m a bit of a curious chap. I know curiosity ended the life of our four legged house pet but I’m still here to tell the tale. I noticed him on the top shelf in the supermarket. I looked at him with interest but he didn’t even acknowledge my look of curiosity. In fact he didn’t even look at me at all … he just stood at the summit in his green outer garment admiring himself … knowing he will be stinging someone’s cheeks sooner rather than later.

I didn’t hesitate … Why should I? He has a reputation and I needed to satisfy my curiosity!

After my close shave with a new blade, the time had come. My expectation prior to splashing him on was one of panic followed by loud screams … the scene of a disaster movie came to mind where someone is trapped in a house fire.  My head was screaming ‘Nooo’ but my heart was saying ‘Go on …do it … be a man!’ I looked into the bathroom mirror one last time and said a few words before finishing the sentence with ‘Amen’.

I braced myself before slapping him on to my closely shaven cheeks and neck … it stung but that’s what I expected. On a scale of 1 to 10, I was expecting a sting intensity of 10 … like being stung by a bunch of angry Bees. Instead the sting intensity level was more like 4! I glanced up at him and gave him a look of ‘you’re not as tough as you look’ as I slapped on a couple more handfuls.

I remember in the 70s when my brother slapped on the Brut we all knew about it … the abrupt green eyed homme de France flooded every corner of our rather large house with its aroma. Not quite the same now though … his lingering aroma was restricted to my face and bathroom.

He insisted that he should be first on the red carpet!

He insisted that he should be first on the red carpet!

So what’s the verdict? Well I finished off the abrupt one within a month … all what’s left of him is his empty glass shell which is heading to the recycle bin. My curiosity had been satisfied. Maybe back in 70s he may have been more feisty and would have taught me a severe lesson … but they do say we mellow as we get on in years.

Well my abrupt, arrogant friend is actually quite nice once you get to know him … don’t let the initial impressions cloud your judgement.  His twin brother nodded at me from the top shelf of the supermarket during the week … I smiled and nodded back … mutual respect. Respect the Brut!

Barry & Henry advert (click to view)