Dilly-dally dial-up internet

When it comes to connecting to the internet, we want to connect now – straight away! We don’t expect to nod-off whilst waiting to be connected to the net – our expectations are high, we expect a speedy, non-clunky connection.

A speedy, non-clunky connection was not always the case when using dial-up internet – compared to superfast broadband, dilly-dally dial-up was sometimes painful. There were frustrations with dilly-dally dial-up, reminisce on them below:

Dilly-dally #1: There was no guarantee that you’d be connected first time. So, you’ve got a computer with built-in modem connected to the telephone. You hear the dialling connection, but then nothing happens. All you wanted to do was send a quick email. Cross your fingers and toes and try again, then hope that the email does not get too comfortable snoozing on the outbox sofa.

Dilly-daily #2: You’ve heard the dialling beeps and then that screech kicks-in – you think you’re connected but you’ve counted your chickens before they’ve hatched. Take a deep breath, grab yourself a mug of Horlicks, then try again.

Dilly-dally #3: You’ve made it through the dial beeps and the high-pitched screeches. You’re connected to the internet, but before your home page can load, the connection drops. This situation can be best summed up as the premature ejaculation of dial-up.

Dilly-dally #4: Made it on the internet and you’re having a swimmingly good time surfing and emailing. The good time you’re having comes to an abrupt end as the connection drops like attempting to catch a hot potato. How? Why? Someone is calling you on the home phone and it has interrupted your session. The first thing the caller asks:“Were you on the internet?”

Dilly-dally #5: There’s a day and evening price rate: surfing the internet between 8am to 6pm meant you’d get spanked with higher costs; the costs reduced considerably if you waited until after 6pm. If you were a savvy surfer, you’d kill time by playing Snake on the the Nokia mobile until the clock struck 6pm.

Missing the whole dial-up experience? Dial-up is still available, so if your hobbies include watching paint dry, neighbourhood watch curtain-twitching, or counting the amount of compensation commercials shown on daytime TV, then maybe dilly-dally dial-up is ideal for you.

The Milk Tray Man, mouthfuls of Angel Delight, smashing Smash Hits magazine, splashing it all over with Brut aftershave, World of Sport or Grandstand? A fat wallet or your flexible friend the Access Card? Could you survive a term at Grange Hill? Nostalgia with enough clout to send you flying back to the 80s and 70s in the hardback book Section N Underpass. Click image below to get the rundown:

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