Dilly-dally dial-up internet

When it comes to connecting to the internet, we want to connect now… straight away! We don’t want to nod-off whilst waiting to be connected. Our expectations are high and we expect a speedy, non-clunky connection.

Speedy, non-clunky connection was not always the case when using dial-up internet. Compared to superfast broadband, dilly-dally dial-up was sometimes painful. There were frustrations with dilly-dally dial-up, reminisce on them below:

Dilly-dally #1: Can’t connect. You’ve composed an email whilst offline so all you need to do is go online and send. You hear the dialling connection, but then nothing happens. Cross your fingers and toes and try again, then hope that the email does not get too comfortable snoozing on the outbox sofa.

Dilly-daily #2: I thought I had connected! You’ve heard the dialling connection and then that screech kicks-in – you think you’re connected you’re not – you’ve been tricked. Not a lot you can do but I suggest taking a deep breath and grabbing yourself a mug of Horlicks before trying again.

Dilly-dally #3: Swiftly booted out. You’ve successfully connected to the internet, but the connection drops before the home page can load. You were in but you didn’t last more than ten seconds – premature ejaculation of dilly dally dial up.

Dilly-dally #4: The innocent caller interruption. Made it on the internet and you’re having a swimmingly good time surfing and emailing. The good time you’re having comes to an abrupt end as the connection drops like attempting to catch a hot potato. How? Why? Someone is calling you on the home phone and it has interrupted your session. The first thing the caller asks:“Were you on the internet?”

Dilly-dally #5: No daytime surfing. There’s a day and evening price rate: surfing the internet between 8am to 6pm meant you’d get spanked with higher costs – the costs dropped considerably if you waited until after 6pm. If you were a savvy surfer, you’d kill time by playing Snake on the the Nokia mobile until the clock struck 6pm.

Missing the whole dial-up experience? Dial-up is still available, so if your hobbies include watching paint dry, neighbourhood watch curtain twitching or counting the amount of compensation commercials shown on daytime TV, then maybe dilly-dally dial-up is ideal for you.

The Milk Tray Man, mouthfuls of Angel Delight, smashing Smash Hits magazine, splashing it all over with Brut aftershave, World of Sport or Grandstand? A fat wallet or your flexible friend the Access Card? Could you survive a term at Grange Hill? Nostalgia with enough clout to send you flying back to the 80s and 70s in the hardback book Section N Underpass. Click image below to get the rundown:

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