Kia-Ora: I’ll gladly be your dog

DURING the yester-years, Tree Top orange squash and the original, syrupy Ribena were common finds in the household fridge. With help of a fun, catchy, orangey television advert, Kia-Ora also found a space in the fridge.

The orange drink was too orangey for all the other animals, but it was good enough for his dog. All the other animals, dying for a gulp of the orangey squash, wanted to be his dog and began to act like dogs.

The advert got me thinking: what if I could be a dog? The dog that’s referred to in the advert, seems to have preferential, exclusive priority over everyone else. Funnily enough, I’ve heard quite a few stories about dogs having high ranking in the home.

The stories I hear are those where the dog have their own space on the sofa – they have been given preferential privilege meaning that there’s not enough room for an insignificant other, usually an unfortunate husband, wife, partner or child. I’ve heard stories of one half of a partnership having to sleep in the spare room – “the bed is not big enough for the three of us, you’re in the spare room, see you at breakfast!” Insignificant others also learn to have low expectations: the fine cuts of premium meats in the fridge are not for a party, anniversary celebration or a special evening, but for the privileged four-legged Major; the insignificant other knows this and heads straight for the curly, dried-up slices of corned beef.

So when I think about a dogs life, it sounds extremely cushy – they get to have a gulp or two of Kia-Ora and receive a whole heap of other privileges. Possibly the biggest benefit of all, is not having to find a toilet when out and about – no flushing required, and, best of all, they can stand-aside and watch the responsible owner clear-up their poo. Based on these facts, along with the stories I have heard, I’d be more than satisfied if Evil Edna or anyone who specialises in wizardry, turns me into a dog.

Remember when Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks threw their weight around the wrestling ring? A time when the Milk Tray Man secretly delivered chocolates. Mr Kipling made exceedingly good cakes but what was your favourite? Fun, straplines and nostalgic photos in the hardback book, Section N Underpass, a nostalgic trip reliving advertising, leisure and entertainment from the 70s and 80s – fiction with loads of interesting facts. Click the images below to get the rundown:

Reminisce on the advert by clicking the video below

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