Disobedient ticket machine
He sees his train pulling into the station. He’s quickly loading coins into the ticket machine but the machine is not behaving and rejects them. He feeds the coins in again, but the result is the same. Like a possessed gambler on a fruit machine he frantically feeds them in again! Eventually, the final 50p coin is accepted by the disobedient ticket machine and he has his ticket.
The attempted sprint
He bumps into a multitude of passengers heading the opposite direction whilst running down the stairs to the platform – the word ‘sorry’ continually comes out his mouth whilst dodging, weaving and crashing into the oncoming traffic of passengers. He makes it to the platform just as the platform conductor is about to blow his whistle, but disaster strikes when he twists his ankle whilst making a last-ditch effort to jump-on – instead of landing in the train carriage he lands flat on his back! The platform conductor blows his whistle and the last remaining doors slam shut. The train then creeps out of the station.
Relief and comfort
Mentally and physically broken, he drags himself against the post bearing the station name. He reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a box of Hamlet and a small box of matches. He lights the mild cigar and puffs away – each puff leaving a cloud of smoke in the air like a steam train. The events of the last couple of minutes now seem mundane whilst observing passengers dashing around like ants. He happily puffs away whilst sitting in his new, comfortable spot.
Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet
Happiness does not come from a fat salary, spending time with loved ones or jetting-off on exotic holidays: true happiness comes from puffing on the mild cigar after you’ve landed on your backside! Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet – the mild cigar.
Enjoyed the post? Check out the fun and factual book, Section N Underpass – a look back at British advertising, leisure and entertainment from the yester-years. Get the rundown by clicking the front cover below: