PLEASE STOP! I can’t take anymore of that music … make it stop! It sends a shiver down my spine as it plays on and on. My eyes bulge as the opening title starts. I stare at her silhouette: incredibly sexy, calm and enticing whilst dancing in the flames. My eyes don’t shift from her as she invites me to come dance. I hesitantly refuse. I dare not move but I’m subtlety being drawn into her world and that music still won’t stop!
Too late – I’ve been sucked into her world! Things have taken a sinister turn for the worse and I have choices to make.
I see the revolver spinning but I don’t want this game of Russian Roulette to drag-on. I hope the revolver will stop in my direction and Bang! At least it will be over and done-with and that music will stop. Typical of my luck, the revolver keeps on spinning. I reach for it to take matters into my own hands but it’s just out of reach.
Next I’m faced with a roulette wheel. I’m not a gambler – my limited gambling experience is based on watching Play Your Cards Right on TV, screaming ‘Higher’ and ‘Lower’ as Bruce flipped the cards. Now I have a choice, black or red. I’m determined to put an end to the torturous music so I go for black 13 – this must work. I fail to succeed again and I’m whisked off to view some tarot cards. Surely the end must be near but the torture continues as the cards keep rotating! I’m then whisked past a collection of skulls and within a split second, the music stops … Phew!
All is calm. I’m not sure how I got here but I’m in a rather cosy living room next to a roaring fire. I know the man relaxing in the armchair by the fire – he’s one of my favourite authors: I loved James and the Giant Peach. I’m safe. I’m not sure what happened before but it’s all done and dusted now and I’m actually relieved to still be alive.
The man in the armchair
I’m confused as the man in the armchair starts talking mumbo jumbo. He has a sly look on his face but I ignore him and warm myself up in front of the roaring fire. The shiver down my spine slowly disappears as I get comfy in the serenity of this cosy room, but it’s not long before I’m being sucked into the flames of the roaring fire. My eyes bulge as the man in the armchair gets smaller in the distance. Then that music starts again. Her dancing silhouette and me not wanting to dance. I reach for the revolver but it’s still just out of reach. The roulette wheel … ‘black 13 … black 13’ I scream but it just keeps spinning. The same loop: I still don’t want to dance and I stretch harder to reach the revolver, but fail again. ‘Damn it Black 13’! The loop continues …
I get a glimpse of the man in the armchair in the distance. I beg him to please stop the music. He looks at me, smiles, leans back in his armchair, and slowly nods-off.
A fun and factual look back at British advertising, leisure and entertainment from the 70s and 80s are featured in the new hardback book, Section N Underpass. Get the rundown by clicking the front cover below: