Valentine’s Survival Guide

The First day of February … still got a couple of weeks to get your loved one a Valentines present. 8th February … you still have not had the chance to get a present for your loved one but there’s still time. 13th February … What? Valentine’s day is tomorrow! You’ve still not got your loved one present and the clock is ticking swiftly. What should you buy? Where should you go? You had been pull this one out the bag pretty sharpish or single life could be a serious reality.

Here are a few tips to prevent you getting dumped followed by months of emotional torture.

Start the romantic day off in by bringing your loved one up a nice freshly brewed cup of Brooke Bond Dividend Tea. Serve in the best bone china you can dig out from the cupboard. Gaze into the eyes of your loved one as they sip on the hot cuppa. Once the cuppa has been finished off, head back to the kitchen and brew up again. Your loved one will appreciate you making Two trips to the kitchen.



Keep the momentum going by flinging on an apron and cooking up a Valentine’s breakfast. Fried eggs, baked beans, mushrooms, grilled tomatoes, bacon and sausages. Make sure the sausages are Wall’s sausages … only the best will do for your loved one. Add a drop of cooking oil to your pan, heat up and sling in the sausages. Listen to them sizzle whilst being browned. The aroma will bring a beaming smile to you loved ones’ face.




Now that you’re in full flow and your loved one feels super special, it’s time to pop out the pressie. Due to your quick thinking on the previous day, you managed to nip into Ratners and pick up that 9 carat bit of jewellery. Stand back and watch your loved one pop open the box and gasp with delight. You reveal a slight smirk as you’d sneakily managed to get hold of the 9 carat pressie at a knockdown price. The day just keeps getting better.




After the lovely dinner you’ve prepared is gobbled up, present your loved you with a box of Terry’s All Gold. See the face you love light up as you hand them these delightful chocolates.



As Valentine’s Day draws to a close you pull out one more delightful surprise. Run you loved one a nice warm relaxing Radox bath. Let them relax and have thoughts about how lucky they are to have you as their partner.




A successful Valentine’s Day. You have avoided the dark depths of Singletoness.  Your loved one will love you even more. You’ll be happy that you made the effort. Remember … Valentine’s Day is not about spending a huge wad of cash, it’s about making the effort … even if all the effort was put in at the last minute. Valentine’s Day is not really about showing your loved one how much you love em … it’s about survival! Stick to the retrohen tips to avoid slipping on the banana skin of St Valentine. Happy Valentine’s Day.