And all because …

HE’S cool, he’s mysterious and he’s a handsome so and so. He’s athletic, he’s tall and he’s dark. The mysterious dark handsome one displays his athleticism by confidently diving into the sea from a great height. Once in the sea, he skilfully evades the danger of a lurking shark. He’s on a mission and there’s no time for Sharks Play until his mission is accomplished.

Arriving at his destination a tad wet but still looking handsome, he opens his briefcase and places a box of chocolates and his calling card by the bed. Mission accomplished … the Milk Tray man shows some nifty footwork as he exits his destination without a trace. Now that his mission is accomplished, it’s time for a little Sharks Play as he dives back into the sea to have a bit of fun with his toothy friend.

Milk Tray Man advert still

The mysterious one does all this just because the lady loves Milk Tray.

So who is ‘The Lady’? Hopefully not his wife … I can’t imagine it’s any fun having your husband sneak in, drop off a box of chocolates whilst leaving a trail of salty water on the floor, then sneaking out! Not Funny! On second thoughts that may sound quite appealing to some ladies.

Milk Tray Waterfall end

It’s more likely that he was known to women all over the world … they knew he was handsome, mysterious and knew how to keep a box of chocolates dry. Ladies would head into the shower (long and slow), hoping that when they’d returned to the bedroom, a box of Milk Tray and calling card would be sitting by the bed.

They would lie awake pondering, hoping they would meet him face to face … thoughts of exchanging wedding vows with the Milk Tray man.

Just a few wise words to the men reading … the Milk Tray man was cool … he had an aura of irresistibility and indestructability. He also knew what a lady loves. Men are always looking for new ways to charm the ladies (don’t deny it). ‘The old ways were the best’ I hear you say, but trust me on this one, do not get kitted up in black and try sneaking into a womans bedroom to leave her a box of chocolates! Just because it worked for the Milk Tray man it does not mean it will work for you … actually I’m 100% certain it won’t work! Try explaining to the police that you were innocently climbing through her bedroom window at 11pm to deliver a box of chocolates!

Well I’ve got to admire the Milk Tray Man. Just proves that actions do speak louder than words and there’s a real appeal to being a bit mysterious.

I’ve often wondered if he spoke with a lisp … whether he just had far too much time on his hands and the whole thing was a bit of a hobby. My jealously is seeping out onto this blog.

Milk Tray 1973 top

Well I would just like to thank you Milk Tray Man. Thanks for setting the benchmark in coolness, athleticism and handsomeness. Many of us men have tried to reach that benchmark but have never come close. We hang our heads in failure as we trudge off to drown our souls down the local. Many of us don’t want to set eyes on a box of Milk Tray ever again!

Thanks very much Milk Tray Man!

The MTM in action (click to follow)