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The Milk Tray man: a warning for men on valentine’s day

HE’S cool, he’s mysterious and handsome. He’s athletic, tall and dark. The mysterious dark handsome one displays his athleticism by confidently diving into the sea from a great height. Once in the sea, he skilfully evades the danger of a lurking shark. He’s on a mission and there’s no time for sharks play until his mission is accomplished.

Arriving at his destination a tad wet but still looking handsome, he opens his briefcase and places a box of chocolates and his calling card by the bed. Mission accomplished. The milk tray man shows some nifty footwork as he exits his destination without a trace. Now that his mission is accomplished, it’s time for a little sharks play as he dives back into the sea to have a bit of fun with his toothy friend.


Milk tray


The mysterious one does all this just because the lady loves Milk Tray.

So who is ‘The Lady’? Hopefully not his wife – I can’t imagine it’s any fun having your husband sneak in, drop off a box of chocolates whilst leaving a trail of salty water on the floor, then sneaking out! On second thoughts that may sound quite appealing to some ladies …

original mt


Likely conclusion

It’s more likely that he was known to women all over the world –  they knew he was handsome, mysterious and knows how to keep a box of chocolates dry. Ladies would head into the shower (long and slow), hoping that when they’d returned to the bedroom, a box of chocolates and calling card would be by the bed. They would lie awake pondering, hoping they would meet him face to face followed by thoughts of exchanging wedding vows with him.


Do not copy him!

Just a few wise words to the men reading – the milk tray man was cool – he had an aura of irresistibility and indestructability. He also knew what a lady loves. Men are always looking for new ways to charm the ladies (don’t deny it). ‘The old ways are the best’ I hear you say, but trust me on this one, do not get kitted up in black and try sneaking into a womans bedroom to leave her a box of chocolates! Just because it worked for the milk tray man it does not mean it will work for you … actually I’m 100% certain it won’t work! Try explaining to the police that you were innocently climbing through her bedroom window late at night to deliver a box of chocolates!




3 thoughts on “The Milk Tray man: a warning for men on valentine’s day

  1. He had boundary issues though, didn’t he?! I mean, I like a box of chocolates. But I also like people not to break in to the house in the dead of night! I never considered whether she was his wife. I am now going to choose to believe that she was. & that every morning breakfast started with, ‘Why can’t you just use your bloody door key & come up the stairs like a normal person??’ Visiting from #weekendblogshare

  2. He’s an old fashioned romantic Silly Mummy. Bless him … he’s being romantic but instead of his wife praising him (you’re perfect darling, I’m so happy darling), the poor chap gets a verbal beating first thing in the morning.

  3. I’d love you to climb in through the window dressed in black, let me know when you’re planning it so I can take photos 😉

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